‘GRANDPAS FOOT’
( An adventure in Melbourne’s Royal Botanic Gardens )
I really don’t know why I feel so sad foot mused to himself?
Just a few moments ago foot had been sitting comfortably in the Sun close to the pond in the Melbourne Botanic Gardens together with its owner snoozing comfortably on his seat. Small Ducks were paddling around on the pond accompanied by their even smaller chicks pecking up tasty morsels generously provided by the pond. Lovely brown ducks gaily decked out with iridescent green slashes flowing down their cheeks.
What can be wrong foot thought? Everything seems perfect. Then it began. First a tingle in its little toe progressing into the next adjoining toe until all its toes were tingling together right up to Big Grandpa toe. Just like “This Little Piggy” a rhyme familiar to most readers. Taking its shoe and sock of for a thoughtful scratch it had a think for a moment.
Then it finally dawned on foot. It was missing its other foot, its lifelong companion. Wherever could it be? Its other foots shoe and sock were sitting where the foot should have been but no sign of foot. I know I will retrace my step it thought (A foot only has a step to retrace not like two foots which usually have steps, unless of course it is playing Hop-Scotch when a step is enough). To get back to the story.
Foot decided its only course of action was a foot retrace so up it hopped up from its comfortable spot to begin its journey. First it hopped downhill to the pond where it remembered it had last been. It should be added that foots don’t have very good memories, not that they are dumb or anything like that it’s just that toes don’t leave much room for memories or brains for that matter.
Still it hopped confidently right up to the edge of the pond where it engaged a swan in close conversation. Have you seen my other foot it asked? No the swan snapped back tersely. Cant you see its lunch time! I really don’t have time for any silly questions right now. Fancy losing your other foot it added. If we Swans lost a foot we would realize straight away and snap it back on. You sound as though you have been laying around for hours without ever realizing you were missing a foot.
That’s alright for you foot snapped back huffily we don’t have large ugly webbed feet which you cant miss. So the foot continued on its way feeling a little hurt by the Swans grumpy comments but determined to find its mate.
Skirting the pond it hopped off up the slope on the far side. Soon it reached a clump of trees hanging enticingly over its path spreading a delicious patch of shade. It decided to have a rest within the cool of the overhanging branches. Now foots are sometimes not the smartest of appendages but it had enough common sense to make sure it was resting well back into the deeper shade in order that it was well concealed within its cover. It had heard of other foots which had been indiscreet, resting in the full sun where they had been snapped up by hungry Kookaburras. Goodness knows what might have happened to its remaining partner in such circumstances It would certainly feel left out at the least. Still we are only interested in our particular foot so on with the tale.
Feeling re-energised after its rest foot hopped up (something foots are very good at ) had a cautionary look around before hopping out of the shadows and having a further look around making completely sure there were no lurking kookaburras. The second look was also to work out which way it should go next in its search for its mate.
The path that it had come along snaked off up a steep slope away from the trees running up the slope over a green grassy lawn before disappearing behind a clump of flowering bushes near the top. This presented foot with a bit of a dilemma. On the one hand it didn’t much like the fact of having to climb a hill particularly without its other foot to help. On the other hand it really liked flowers and these flowers looked particularly attractive, bright reds, corals whites and other appealing colours. It would have relished the prospect of burying its face or rather its toes in the fragrant blooms as it had left its face behind with Grandpa sleeping on his seat. In the end laziness won out. It was saved by the fact that there appeared to be another path a short way along the present one. This second path ran happily downhill, and besides foot reasoned its other foot most probably would have felt the same and headed downhill so of it hopped filled with the excitement of adventure. Foots often get carried away by the excitement of the moment.
So full of excitement, anxious to find its mate, displaying a renewed spring in its step or rather in its hop it hopped enthusiastically onwards and downwards hop hop hop anxiously looking for its partner.
Presently in its downwards hoping it bumped into something solid blocking its path. A foot doesn’t have very good eyesight so it failed to see the obstruction until it ran into it. Surprised and intrigued it inched carefully around whatever was blocking its path. The solid thing appeared to have sides branching upwards in a shiny ring, a ring with a soft rubber middle which explained why foot hadn’t been injured bumping into it. Hopping carefully past the ring it found the object also seemed to have a front made up of soft squishy material in the shape of a cushion. Turning its gaze upwards foot was further surprised to hear quiet little sobs coming from on top of the cushion .
Whatever is the matter foot asked not even sure what it was he was addressing the question to. Boo Hoo came the heart rending reply. I was so enjoying my first visit to these beautiful gardens but now I am stuck here. My attendant ran away muttering something about not being paid to work past three o clock, whatever can I do? I can’t go anywhere without someone to push me.
Foots heart melted at these words and yes foots do have a heart so it replied. I am only a little foot but I will push you, there is nothing for you to fear. Thank you the little boy replied between sobs . Alans the name. Pleased to meet you foots the name so little foot set about pushing his new friend Alan. First he lined his toes up behind the wheelchair commencing to push. Push Push Push he tried huffing and panting flexing his toes for extra leverage but try as he might he couldn’t make it move. Out of breath and a little disappointed he sat down to recover his breath and have a think about the next course of action.
After pondering the problem for a few moments he decided to try out Archimedes leverage theory which he had learnt about in school. Foots do go to school but mostly in company with their companion foot the theory being that two heads are better than one or in the case of foots two foots. The idea had come to foot after feeling the ring shape on the side on the side of the seat when he had first encountered the chair.
Now if I can brace myself against the edge of the rubber ring and push hard I should be able to get it to turn which in turn will propel the seat forward. So he arranged himself behind the ring toes firmly planted on the ground and commenced to push. Huff Puff he pushed and pushed until finally the ring started to turn. Slowly at first then faster and faster as the ring was lent more impetus by the slight slope of the path on which the chair was situated. Yeow help foot suddenly started to scream out as he realized in panic that the chair was not only moving but was also spinning on its spot so fast that before it could be stopped it had turned completely around 180 degrees. It now faced back in the direction from which it had come only just avoiding spilling Alan out onto the ground by the force of the turn.
A bit shocked and stunned foot stood there wondering what to do next. He was starting to realize that the task might be beyond him to achieve all by himself. Oh how I wish my other foot was here to help me now he thought, while at the same time feeling rather sad that his mate wasn’t there to share the sadness with.
But no it wasn’t alone. Just as it was starting to feel complete despair its gloom was interrupted by a warm female voice coming from behind. Can I help the voice enquired ? Without waiting for an answer it continued confidently. Florries the name. I go to the school just over the hill which you would have passed on your way here, that’s if you came via the Punt road bus. Florence is my full name. I think you need a good pushing companion Florrie continued. Here let me help while reaching forward grabbing the pushing handle which had been out of foots reach. Holding the handle firmly she spun the chair around so it was now pointing back down the path again which was where foot and Alan had wanted to go in the first place.
Great work on the turn Foot exclaimed to Florrie while getting his first chance to study his new companion in some detail. She was a young girl of middling school age. Dark smiling eyes surrounded by long equally dark hair , an expressive full sensitive mouth showing warmth and empathy. Lets go then she ordered, onwards downhill to the pond. Foot obediently took his place beside Florrie pushing with renewed enthusiasm. Meanwhile Alan chortled happily enjoying this new adventure in company with his friends.
The path continued downwards threading between more trees, shrubs interspersed by colourful garden beds carefully tended by garden staff. The beds were a riot of early spring colour. Snapdragons in pale pastel colours ( foots favourite flower when his toes were tickled by being snapped up by the dragons) Yellow Pansies, white Daisy’s to name but a few.
The air heady with flower perfume they could finally see where the path was leading them downwards toward a lake much larger than the pond where Foot had started out. The Lake was surrounded by broad swarths of lush green lawn dotted profusely with large and small groups of happy people relaxing in the early spring sunshine. Family groups picnicking while children ran about playing. Friends chatting, single people reading books. Some people with tightly leashed dogs obeying the numerous important signs reading “Dogs must be on a Leash big smacks for naughty owners “.
Drawing closer to the Lake weaving between the groups of people Alan was further cheered by the friendly waves and smiles coming in their direction. Excited children running alongside, his chair calling to Florrie yelling please Miss can we have a push to? We will be careful Miss. Oh well yes you can she replied but just be careful with Alan, remember he can’t swim so stay clear of the lake. Yes Miss no worries Miss came the confident reply so she handed control of the pram to the children. Foot hadn’t taken part in the discussion so continued to hang about close to the chair as the excited group of children pushed it off. The children entered into an animated conversation with Alan as they progressed across the lawn which is the lovely character of children. They have little inhibition in co-operating with other children their own age including Alan who was just a few months older.
The children were so engrossed in discussion that they failed to see how close to the edge of the Lake they were getting. Too late, help yeowe splash Alans, wheelchair together with a smattering of children fell into the lake disappearing beneath a fast growing circle of large ripples.
Help help Florrie foot and the remaining children called out in panic. Whatever can we do ? Just as they were standing in a confused huddle by the edge peering at where their friends and Alan had disappeared they were startled by a loud Honking coming from behind followed by what’s wrong can we help ? Turning Foot was surprised to find grumpy Mr Swan accompanied by his family waddling towards them as fast as their large web feet would allow honking furiously with the urgency of the situation. Summing up the scene instantly, without further conversation the whole flock plunged off the side of the lake disappearing beneath another fleet of ripples just as Alan and his companions had done.
All was silence for a brief moment as the stunned onlookers watched on. They were roused back into action by a frantic yapping coming from behind followed by a white flash as a little stumpy legged terrier looking much like a Leunig cartoon all white with a black patch on its chest one tooth protruding from its panting mouth raced past. Leaping into the air it went sailing out over the water. Intent on being one of the rescuers, splashing down heavily into the water a huge spray of brown lake water erupting around it.
The watching spectators including leaping Patch were expecting him to sink below the waves bravely helping in the rescue. Instead much to everybody’s surprise not least to Patch his body refused to sink bobbing right up again like a cork. You could tell by his demeanour that he was severely embarrassed by this turn of events. Being a dog he didn’t have a red face as it is too covered in fur to see but one can imagine that it was red under his fur.
Momentarily distracted the audiences attention was snapped back to the drama by the group of swans breaking the surface in a blizzard of foam each holding a coughing and spluttering child firmly in its beak. Depositing their burdens on the bank they turned to dive again urgently looking for Alan and his wheelchair.
Meantime Foot had thought quickly about the urgency of their predicament hopping off to ask a nearby workman if he had some rope foot could borrow. Yes certainly the workman agreed aware of the drama down by the lake. Hopping back with his rope he stood by the edge ready to help just as big swan broke the surface calling out in its honking speech. Found the, -meaning Alan and his chair- but they are too heavy for us to lift, any ideas? Yes foot replied take this rope and tie it around them so we can pull them up. Oh another problem the ropes too short to reach the shore. Just a moment while he tied a loop in one end with a strong bowline knot throwing the untied end to the swan while lassoing Patch’s one protruding tooth with the looped end. Patch swam out with his end of rope to a spot over the now submerged swan. On a tugged signal from the swans below Patch swam over to the bank where he was just close enough for foot to loop the rope around his big toe. So with Foot Patch and Florrie puffing panting and pulling it didn’t take long for a wet bedraggled Alan together with his wheelchair to emerge from the muddy depths.
By now everybody Swans, Children , Patch ,Florrie and foot were holding anxiously onto the outstretched rope hauling valiantly bringing Alan and his chair close to the safety of the muddy lake bank. Finally after much puffing, panting, honking some barks from Patch together with heave hoes Alan and wheelchair were standing safely on the bank surrounded by their rescuers. Thank you thank you an exhausted Alan gasped out. Wheelchair would have done the same except of course wheelchairs cant talk. It was not immediately clear if Alans gratitude was a because of his rescue or because he now had so many new friends. Either way Alan was now one happy little boy after feeling so alone only a short time before.
This calls for a celebration Foot and Florrie called. Lets all go down to the café its just around the corner. Lemonades and Cakes all around our shout. So with Alan safely re-installed back in his wheelchair, foot and Florrie pushing , keeping well clear of the lake this time they all trooped off together along the nearby path following the sign marked “Café this Way to Lemonades and Cakes.”
Drawing closer to their destination the level of excitement grew. Just around the next corner Foot called sparking a further leap of excitement.
Rounding the last clump of flowering bushes the destination came into sight. A bustling glass fronted café with outside decks running out to the edge of the lake, dotted with tables each holding chattering groups of relaxing people, some pouring cups of mostly English breakfast tea, holding mugs of coffee, dipping into assorted plates of cakes, biscuits or licking dripping ice creams held in biscuity cones. Busy waiters weaving through the throng delivering trays heavy with drinks and cakes
Surveying the scene Foot asked his companions, where do you think we should sit? There seems to be a spare table over there by the waters edge Mr Swan announced importantly. It will suit us swans splendidly, we don’t like to be too far from water. A general murmur of agreement followed by a movement of feet, paws, and paddling swans feet in that direction. Everybody plumped down onto the nearest chair except for the swans who nestled on the ground and Patch who curled up near his friend Foots chair.
Everybody settled down comfortably enjoying the warm glow of each others company.
Florrie was first to break the silence. What will it be she asked ? After a few minutes thoughtful silence afternoon tea preferences started to be expressed. The swans decided on a big slice of Apple cake which they could each peck into followed by a nice big bowl of frothy cappuccino never having tried it before. Florrie suggested it be served in a very large bowl placed on the ground in order that each could peck up their fair share. Patch likewise asked for his tea and cake in big bowls on the ground for similar reasons. And so the orders continued around the table until each had placed their orders with the waiter standing there wearing his starched apron noting down orders on his pad.
Soon all that could be heard were snuffling sounds some happy woofs , yummy’s. All foot could manage was a how can I eat this with just my toes ! Meanwhile most of the children had finished before scrambling over to the edge of the lake peering into its depths uttering delighted sounds. Curious as to the cause of the commotion the rest of the party joined them by the edge as they finished eating. Look the largest of the children called pointing down into the water. What is it, what can you see ? Look carefully the child replied. Cant you see something moving down there near the bottom ? Oh yeah now we can see came the goggle eyed reply’s. What they were seeing were dozens of snake like creatures swirling and cavorting in the depths like Medusas hair. What can they be ? The swans much more experienced in lake life answered importantly. They are eels .They come here to feed and gather strength for their long swim back to the Coral sea off northern Australia to breed. They swim thousands of Kilolmetres on their journey. Their young make the return journey right back to this lake. It really is one of natures miracle story’s.
While the swans had been talking several of the children were dangling their hands into the water wiggling their fingers. Much to their surprise a writhing curling mass of eels had gathered beneath intrigued by the fingers, some no doubt regarding the fingers as lunch. Tee hee some of the children burst out laughing fingers tickled by inquisitive mouths. Finally unable to resist one of the children grasped a particularly inquisitive eel. Pulling gently the eel was lifted clear of the water and plumped gently onto the wet earth. If you think this might be cruel don’t. Eels are quite able to live on land out of water. In fact to get into the lake from the nearby Yarra river on completion of their epic swim from the Coral sea they have to wriggle over the land which separates the river from the lake.
Getting back to the story. With the eel wriggling around their feet everybody turned their attention to this new friend. Foot was first to speak enquiring of the eel if it was comfortable on its new spot? Much to everybody’s surprise it answered, yes thank you quite comfortable. Almost as an afterthought it added, Elis the name pleased to meet you. So surprised was the audience at Eli being able to speak as well as exhibiting such confidence that they almost expected Eli to extend a hand for a handshake before realizing eels don’t have hands.
Eli continued. This is quite exciting I cant remember ever being invited to chat with such a large and interesting group before. There has been so much going on in our lake today its hard to know where to begin. Why just this morning we came across a large smelly boot resting on the bottom. Would you believe there was an equally large and boisterous fairy sitting right inside the boot. I think she had been drinking more than fairy juice as she was dancing around in a rather unsteady manner. If you like we could ask her to come up and join your party that’s if you can fit in another companion ? Foot tried not to blush having recognized the reference to the smelly boot as belonging to his other foot.
Foot was relieved from the embarrassment of admitting any family ownership in such a smelly article by the sudden eruption of foaming water and raucous noise from out of the lake. Amid loud excited squeals, dancing noises and calls of delight a jolly chubby fairy rose from the water clutching the smelly shoe in one hand, a glass of bubbling champagne in the other topped by a huge pink flower bobbing on her head. Can I join the party fairy enquired in her raucous excited voice. Without waiting for a reply fairy proceeded to dance around everybody in turn clasping hands, blowing kisses in all directions. Poppy’s the name, partying’s my game she announced where’s the action? Lets go! Her stunned audience were so overcome by her confident and colourful character that the whole by now very large group lined up behind her ready to follow to “ the action “as she had described it.
And so they all set off again with lots of hopping, slithering, clumping, and paddling of webbed feet following her confident lead. Everybody was concentrating on not putting a foot wrong so to speak while following a constant stream of orders, close up! slither faster! more waddling! hop faster! push faster! etc. And so the whole column proceeded in close order up and around the top of the lake following its perimeter where it turned to describe a course back towards where grandpa had been left footless sleeping on his seat.
Poppy it turned out was a good time fairy blessed with lots of stamina and an iron will. Gradually various members of the party began to flag. First to fall by the wayside was Eli not used to slithering so fast, with a gentle plop he dropped back into the lake when the first opportunity presented itself. Second were the swans not far ahead of Eli. Not cut out for to such long marches out of the water plus being bossed around they also beat a hasty retreat back onto the lake while the remaining members of the party marched valiantly on.
Just as Poppy prepared to burst into another energetic round of dancing (without any music it should be added ) the attention of the remaining party was drawn into another dense clump of bushes they were passing. Their attention being drawn by the sound of music playing from somewhere inside the bushes. Entranced everybody gathered near the bushes listening intently to the beautiful music when suddenly, quite unexpectedly a curious little frog jumped out into their midst. He was twirling a sliver topped cane, sporting a large gold watch on his wrist and wearing a big top hat on his head. The size of the hat being much larger than his head made him look like a pimple on a pumpkin. However as was to be proven his personality made up for his lack of size.
Good afternoon my Merry’s frog announced; “Worthingtons the Name “, service is my game, anything need doing ? Perhaps some afternoon tea ? The worlds your oyster he continued. Adding , oh by the way, may I join the party. Without waiting for an answer he inserted himself into the middle of the group. Also without waiting for another invitation ( or any invitation for that matter having joined the party without an invitation) he waved towards the bushes from where the sounds of music continued to play and a little band mostly of the brass oompahing variety marched out adding themselves to the party while continuing to play merry tunes. The band was also composed of very little frogs chock full of self confidence and playing vigorously much like Worthington.
And so the much reduced party now plumped up again with Worthington and his little band continued on its merry way back towards Grandpas sleeping spot. Poppy had now assumed de facto leadership which didn’t bother Foot ,Florrie , Alan or the others as none of them had ambitions to be the life of the party. They were just pleased to feel part of the group and for Alan to be happy.
By now the end of their search was in sight, foot could see that Grandpa was still sleeping peacefully in his sunny spot. To his excitement and relief he also seemed to have his other foot back on his leg. Drawing up in front of Grandpa foot elated to find that his first impressions were in fact correct. Grandpa had his other foot back. Foot was so excited that he forgot to mention to his other foot how bothered and angry they had all been by his unexplained absence. He hopped over to his brother foot and gave him a loving hug. Don’t ask me how foots can hug each other I really don’t know.
Foot then introduced each of his friends in turn explaining the adventures they had all been through. Then feeling exhausted after their adventures he hopped gently over to Grandpas spare leg re-attaching himself just as Grandpa blinked awake muttering something about a strange dream he had had about being footloose and fancy free.
While Foot had been making his explanations to brother foot about their exciting adventures the rest of the party had been standing politely clustered in a group nearby listening. All except Poppy, she couldn’t supress her urge to dance pirouetting impatiently on the spot waiting for Foot to cease talking.
Foots final words to the party were “take good care of Alan” as the remaining members departed up the hill Florrie pushing Alan, Poppy dancing in the lead flower bobbing on her head followed closely by Worthington twirling his cane keeping time for the band while Poppy called “follow me to the Oak Lawn let’s have a party.”.
THE END (maybe)
Copyright Alistair Pirie
